Dear Joe 'Bama,
While I respect your freedom as an American to buy whatever car you choose, what I do not respect is your insistence that owning a Ford F-350 Extended Cab Wrangler Special Edition super truck is necessary. Unless you are doing farm work---which is doubtful in the cinemascopic wilds of McFarland Blvd.--or you are moving large pieces of furniture--which you clearly were NOT--this truck is not mandatory.
I'll even hazard to say that it's frivolous, wasteful, and inconsiderate. You are wasting oil, space, and my sanity by continuing to drive to and from your job at Longhorn or ALFA Insurance or Fraternity Row in this land barge.
Also, don't drive this and then dare to put a sticker on the back of said truck that says "Gas Prices Suck." Not that I disagree. They certainly do. But driving something the size of Rhode Island and then complaining about how expensive it is to fill-up, is something akin to me buying a raw silk chartreuse Cynthia Rowley cocktail dress and then bitching about the dry cleaning bill.
P.S. Please forward the above missive to your friend "97 lb. Sorority Girl who drives around town ALONE in a Tahoe" Thanks, Management.