Friday, April 17, 2009

Public Letter-Writing Thursday (on Friday morning)

Dear youtube,

While I'm sure the "related videos" sidebar is intended to be helpful, could we please remove it from my account? K, thanks.

In the words of The BFS, "And thank you for the helpful spirit in which it was offered...." You're providing a service and I'm all for that. Someone misses last week's episode of Supernatural, wants to see a clip of a cat riding a Roomba but doesn't know the actual name, you are there with helpful hints and music videos of Jared Padelecki shirtless. Well done.

Not well done? Keeping my glued to the screen for hours as I continuously fill the autoplaylist with this

and this

and maaaaaybe a little of this

So, thanks youtube, for taking away hours of my life with your "helpful" tools.


P.S. My unfettered attraction/obsession with the omnisexual glory that is Adam Lambert has now been pretty much fixed. Thanks again youtube, for ruining me forever.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

"Don't you.....forget about me."

Do you wonder if the G-20 summit luncheons look anything like teen movies of the 80's and 90's?

All the G-8 leaders at the cool kids' table: Nicolas Sarkozy lounging with his supermodel wife; Obama, the basketball star laughing with his politically-minded stunning wife (they're like Naley on One Tree Hill).

What about Gordon Brown? He's kind of a tool. Probably only gets to hang with them cause he's a legacy.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Where you lead.....I will follow.

"Dad does NOT need my Petunia Pig spoon. Hey Mom, what are we carrying home all our booty in? Do you have a canvas bag with a big dollar sign on it?"

"I haven't seen my mother this obsessed with a piece of clothing since I wore my "Gas, Grass, or Ass: No One Rides for Free" shirt to the Junior League spring tea."

Sometimes I forget how absolutely hilarious this show is. It's nice to be remembered. I think Amy Sherman Palladino MAY be the scriptwriter for my life. No one else but Rory and Lorelei speak as quickly and nonsequitor as me.....except maybe Kelly B.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Clooney's like a Chanel suit.

Do you ever have one of THOSE days?

Nothing drastic, per se. No floods, no famines, no plagues of locusts.....just a yick kinda day. A day when it drizzles but never really rains. A day when you crave Dr. Pepper but have devoted yourself to the Diet Lying Pepper. A day when you look like the loosing end of a prize fight.

I'm having one today. As previously stated my better half was quite ready to sever all ties due to my stunning lack of blog updates. Attempts to remedy that were thwarted by several things:

1. My computer continues to be a total BITCH. It currently takes somewhere in the realm of 40 years to load....well....anything.


2. I spent the better part of the afternoon at the doctor. Why, you ask?? Because I got head-butted by a two year old, resulting in 1.5 black eyes, a bruised nose and a hell of a headache. Prescription strength Tylenol and several ice packs later, my face still hurts/I look like I haven't slept in about three years but nothing is broken.....And here I was hoping the University might be paying for a nose job. Ah, the joys of working with children......

To answer your question......No, I can't fully wrap my head around the Battlestar Galactica finale. As with most shows, I was tardy to the shindig Just wow. Watching with the 'rents wasn't entirely conducive to the watching--mainly because Maman fails to respect the "A TV SERIES finale is on, thus talking in prohibited unless there's a commercial on" rule--so I'll have to re-watch/evaluate sometime this weekend and I'll get back to you. Though complete understanding will like require a thesauras, a complete Greek Mythology text, a concurrent live chat with an anthropology AND history PhD, and having Ronald D Moore on the phone, you'll get my level best. For those of you that watched, my condolences and a gift. For those of you that haven't, an incentive: First for the gents.....
Not only is her body admittedly slammin' --is that what the guys are saying these day?--she's a Cylon. And therefore badass and sorta prophetic. And her name's Caprica Six, which is pretty frakkin' sweet. Watch, you'll get it. And now a gift to the ladies--and myself:

Allow me to introduce you to my newest TV boyfriend, Captain Lee "Apollo" Adama. He's noble, smart, a great pilot, heir apparent to the entire Colonial fleet, and doesn't look bad in or out of that Viper uniform--see above. Plus, the angst of the Starbuck/Apollo relationship makes Meredith and McDreamy look like a schoolyard romance. Did I mention how good he looks in a towel?!? And his real life portrayer, the yummilicious Jamie Bamber, is British (le swoon) and playing the Elliot Stabler role in the new Law & Order: UK. He could call me if he wants.....I'm just saying.

Which leads me to She's obviously my, Sally, and Chicago Molly's soul sister, as she has an ENTIRE web site devoted to a "Boyfriend of the Week." Sometimes it's someone from a television show. Sometimes it's someone from a book. Sometimes it's a real live person, sometimes a totally amazing fictional character. Up to and including Bradley Whitford, Barack Obama, the entire cast of So You Think You Can Dance, Shakespeare the meerkat from Meerkat Manor, and Katee Sackhoff (yes, I realize Starbuck's a girl, it is all explained). See! See! Soul sister's, I tell you. And everyone gets rate on a MacGyver Factor, as he's the original boyfriend. Of course, if I had one it would be a Josh Lyman Scale, or at the very least a Doug Ross Factor.
Paging Dr. Ross......Please report to Molly. STAT.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Because my same-sex hetero life partner will divorce me if I don't....

I am currently in the process of composing a fabulous, wonderful, insightful blog for the 3.5 people who actually read this.
Or......I'm writing something inane and useless as a means to get Chicago Molly off my behind about my lack of writing.
One of the two.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

No one running through an airport trying to stop someone from going somewhere....

I'm particularly a fan of Bradley Cooper chuggin the bottle of wine in that background, wearing a tux jacket and Carharts. Not that? Is high art.

And Justin Long gets more adorable every time I see him. *runs off to watch Accepted for the thousandth time*

Incidently, they're right. You should really go see this movie. You'll spend two hours thinking "Crap, that's SO me!"

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Oh, the weather outside is......mild.

Despite my occasional mumbly-grumblies about various aspects of my place of birth, it's days like today when I relish it.

Why, you ask?

Well, I'll tell you. See, it's February. And cloudy out. And--apologies to my friends/family in the North--I wore flip-flops today.

Without getting frost-bitten little piggies. How suhweet is that?!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Another gem from the kiddos in my life.....

Upon being told by my mother that he could get a book and read while she helped Gracie for a minute:

"Gigi.....I no can read. I don't have enough teefs (teeth)."

And all this time I thought that it was because he wasn't yet three.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

"When is your birthday?"

This is how the conversation started, innocently enough. But after years of chasing youngsters, I should've known better. I should've read the subtext, looked past the lead, and seen where this line of questioning was going.

Which was here:

R: (twirling an errant piece of my hair as we watch Oklahoma) "Molly, when is your birthday?"

Me: "January 3rd"

R: "And HOW old were you?"

Me: "25"

R: "Is that after 24?"

Me: (finally catching on, starts to fidget) "Well, yes."

R: "hmmmm........Don't you have a baby YET?!"

Me: "..............."

R: "Cause, Molly, you're 25. And that's like, almost a hundred."

I: (in her characteristic Etta James gruff) " IS pretty old."

R: "You should definitely get know, so that you can get a baby. And besides, your glasses are super cute AND you have the best hair."

Um, right. It's always good to have your life put into perspective by a five and six year old. They really should team up with Cars and Con, who are under the impression that I am "ready to get married" because I "am honest and have good judgment."

At least SK is on my side in all this. Her commentary on the end of Oklahoma.....
"Why does Laurie have to marry that Gurly boy? Why can't she and Annie just be cowboys too?"

Well said, Sassy. Well said.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Note To Self:

Don't have a nervous breakdown or psychotic episode. Neither would be good.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Public Letter-Writing Thursday.

Dear Joe 'Bama,

While I respect your freedom as an American to buy whatever car you choose, what I do not respect is your insistence that owning a Ford F-350 Extended Cab Wrangler Special Edition super truck is necessary. Unless you are doing farm work---which is doubtful in the cinemascopic wilds of McFarland Blvd.--or you are moving large pieces of furniture--which you clearly were NOT--this truck is not mandatory.

I'll even hazard to say that it's frivolous, wasteful, and inconsiderate. You are wasting oil, space, and my sanity by continuing to drive to and from your job at Longhorn or ALFA Insurance or Fraternity Row in this land barge.

Also, don't drive this and then dare to put a sticker on the back of said truck that says "Gas Prices Suck." Not that I disagree. They certainly do. But driving something the size of Rhode Island and then complaining about how expensive it is to fill-up, is something akin to me buying a raw silk chartreuse Cynthia Rowley cocktail dress and then bitching about the dry cleaning bill.


P.S. Please forward the above missive to your friend "97 lb. Sorority Girl who drives around town ALONE in a Tahoe" Thanks, Management.

Friday, January 30, 2009

There you go.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

~e.e. cummings

Thursday, January 29, 2009

"Is Ace short for......Ace-eroni?"

My head feels like this.... I'm vegging on the couch with homemade spaghetti and mediocre television. Oh Idol, why can't I quit you? (Answer: Because you give me Osmonds and single moms named Megan who sing like Zooey Deschanel. Whom I love in all forms. She's funny as all get out in Failure to Launch. I covet her general style. And she's quirky. Love. Love. Love.) *runs off to download She&Him, Volume One.*

Watching Juno, I continue to be freaked out by the fact that Claudia Jean Cregg is a suburban nail technician housewife of Verne Schillinger. The absurdity of this can only be appreciated by someone who watched both The West Wing and OZ. Which is probably, me and Sally......and that's it. But the irony of the democratic White House Chief of Staff being the wife of the leader of the Oswald State Peniteniary's aryan gang is nothing if not hilarious. Especially when it's underscored by the bouncy lyrics of "I like boys with strong convictions and convicts with perfect diction." Not to mention "And I've never met a Toby that I didn't like." Which is beyond funny on both counts. Just me then? Ooooookay.

In the interest of spreading the wealth/love/good juju, see below things I'm loving, reading, generally coveting.

From the wonderland of Sephora:Liquid stain that makes 'those' days a thing of the past. Lips/cheeks. This does it all....and well.
The most fantabulous concealer set in the history of every. Lasts ALL day, no joke. The green covers up red. You can also get a purpl-y one that......does something equally fantastic, I'm sure. The brand is Make Up Forever. It is love....And speaking of love.

If only someone would return this to the Tuscaloosa Public Library, my life would be better.

This color green is the reason I wake up some mornings. Not to mention the cut and the fact that these boots are obviously a gift from the Lord.

The pictures here make me long, hopefully. And they are the happy.
The above-pictured wardrobe told me that it wants to live in my new house. I want to make this piece of furniture's dreams come true.

Loving this book, almost finished. And super-pumped because these two:

Will be starring as Julia (Child) and Julie (Powell), respectively in the the upcoming movie. My capacity to adore Amy Adams knows few bounds. Was a bit underwhelmed by the indie Junebug, but Miss Pettigrew lives for a Day is just what the reviews said, "A delightful champagne cocktail of a movie." And we all know how I love the bubbly....But not nearly as much as I love these two:

AKA The Greatest Niece and Nephew in Existence. Author's Note: Yes, those bows are as big as they appear. No, neither his eyes nor his hair have been photoshopped. They make me the happiest. Happier than the Bene Tint or the lovely French films or the fabulous green dress. They are pretty much my happy place, especially when she gives me snotty kisses or he grabs both my cheeks with doughnut hands to make sure I "look a' me" for some very important Mimi/Jack-Jack exchange.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Happy Tuesday!

I'm off to my Messy Spirituality Bible study--I know, I know. My church is the bee's knees....--but I wanted to share this, because it was just too dern cute to overlook.

How A...wait for it....dorable is THAT?! There's a whole blog of adorableness waiting in the wings. I just need to get its costume adjusted slightly before the overture begins.....Toodles, lovelies!

Monday, January 26, 2009


Okay, so I know I haven't written anything in eons. I know the 3 people who are reading this--whom I talk to on a regular basis, anyway--are....well, not disappointed at all. My blogging negligence can be summed up, thusly: The parentals moved houses the week of Christmas, turning my holidays into a sea of boxes, missed DirecTV appointments, hot plates, and well, no internet. I certainly managed to run up the cell bill checking my e-mail from my phone. *snatch* But actually sitting down to think out something witty or informative was not on the To Do, 'kay?

I think you'll survive.

Anywhoozle, spent my birthday weekend watching Alabama get the crap kicked out of them by Utah (!) A month later and I'm still not over that one. But said weekend was spent here:
So, not a total loss. It was my first trip, a Bourbon Street Virgin (ooohh, Bourbon St. Virgins? That's a good name for an all-girl punk band). Courtesy of the greatest sister ever.

Ate gumbo, laughed at drunks, shopped, saw old friends, wondered why I'd never been before, laughed at more drunks, watched a "football" game, ate beignets, and drove home.

Spent the big 2-5 with the fam, eating cheesecake and watching nonsense on the telly. This wasn't the plan for the evening, per se; but I've learned (thank you, E. Gilbert) that you have to make your own happiness, because sometimes people don't do what you want.....le sigh.
(And a story for another time and place.)

Received mad cash, THE cutest wipe-off board and an original piece by Jack-Jack from the Family, Jr.....think early Pollack meets Martha Stewart.

Getting back into the swing of work, finally. Planning a sweet ass panty party for my fave bride-to-be. And after having been told by several folks A) that I should be a party planner and B) that the nothing little things I've painted should be mass-marketed; I'm not fully off the idea of dropping it all and becoming a freelance......something. I've got the several book ideas, just need to strong-arm some artsy friend to illustrate. Need someone to throw together a schnazzy soiree? Gimme a ring, I guess. Never one to take a compliment well, these things always seem to throw me off kilter a bit. But, there you go.

It's weird when you hear something that surprises you utterly, something you weren't expecting. And how it's many facets changes your perception of so very many things. Inquire inside for more details.

Wow. That was....verbose. Even for me. And I've even recently been reminded of my tendency towards wordiness. Old dog? Meet New Trick. Have blog poised for publication, in which I enlighten you to all the things I've discovered/read/coveted over the past month. But you'll have to wait til the morrow, as this little chicken is in need of Rare Mimosa bubble bath and the last few chapters of P&P--yes, I'm rereading it for the zillionth time. Maybe this will be the time Darcy actually does leap, brooding from the pages and into my real life.....

You're right.....probably not.

Monday, Monday. So good to me...

Because the weekend's over and we all need a little happy. A hi...wait for it...larious British commercial for Cadbury Dairy Milk. Sals, this beats the McNuggets one...